Not everything which can be said should be said. What troubled the brothers was not merely Yosef’s aspirations of leadership, but also his indiscretion in expressing these hopes to them.
We read in Parashat Vayeshev of Yosef’s dreams that foretold his future position of leadership over his brothers. He first dreamt about his brothers’ sheaves of grain bowing before his, and then dreamt of the sun, the moon and eleven stars – clearly representing his eleven brothers – bowing to him. The Torah describes the brothers’ angry reaction to Yosef’s first dream: “His brothers said to him, ‘Will you be king over us? Will you rule over us?’ They hated him even more, because of his dreams and because of his words” (37:8).
The commentators offer differ interpretations for the final phrase of this verse – “and because of his words.” While we readily understand that the brothers’ animus toward Yosef was reinforced by his dreams of leadership, what does it mean that the brothers were further angered by “his words”? Which “words” intensified their resentment, and why?
Rashi, the Rashbam and the Radak explain “his words” as a reference to the second verse in the parasha, where we read that Yosef would bring negative reports about his brothers to Yaakov. The Torah now tells us, quite simply, that on top of the hatred the brothers had already felt toward Yosef as a result of his tattling, they felt additional resentment because of his dreams which revealed his aspirations of authority over them.
Other commentators, however, explain differently, claiming that the Torah refers here to Yosef’s reporting his dreams to the brothers. Their intensified hatred was ignited not only by the dreams themselves, which revealed the kind of thoughts and ambitions that engaged Yosef’s mind, but also by his bringing these dreams to their attention. Seforno, for example, writes that when Yosef told his brothers, “Hearken, if you will, to this dream that I dreamt,” he meant that he wanted to them to take note of its message and implications, and this angered the brothers. Along similar lines, Malbim writes that Yosef’s reporting the dream to the brothers bespoke a demand that they accept the inescapable conclusion that he is their ruler. According to the Ramban, Yosef brought the news of the dream to his brothers “ke-mit’halel,” in a proud, self-adulating manner, thus raising their hostility to higher levels than it would have otherwise reached. Likewise, Rav Shimshon Raphael Hirsch writes, “…they hated him even more, both on account of the contents of his dream and for his impudence – as they took it to be – in insisting on telling them of it.”
The obvious but crucial lesson conveyed by this verse, according to this second interpretation, is that not everything which can be said should be said. What troubled the brothers was not merely Yosef’s aspirations of leadership, but also his indiscretion in expressing to them these hopes. Not all our thoughts and feelings about others should be articulated. True, as Rashi famously cites from the Midrash in his commentary just several verses earlier (37:4), it is wrong to feign friendship and cordiality to conceal feelings of animosity. But this does not mean that we should speak freely and indiscriminately about how we feel. We must exercise careful judgment before choosing which thoughts to divulge, and which to keep in our minds. Even if Yosef cannot necessarily be criticized for his dreams of leadership, he acted wrongly by informing his brothers of these visions. Just because these thoughts entered his mind, this does not justify allowing them to exit through the mouth.