Those who constantly ask the kinds of questions asked by Esav – inquiring about the details of other people’s lives – run the risk of draining their limited resources of time and mental energy.
Parashat Vayishlach begins with Yaakov’s anxious preparation for his reunion with his brother Esav. As part of these preparations, he sends large, expensive gifts ahead to Esav, with specific instructions to his servants who delivered these herds:
When my brother Esav meets you and asks you, saying, “To whom do you belong, where are you going, and whose are these that are before you?” – you shall say, “[I belong] to our servant, Yaakov; it is a gift sent to my master Esav, and he is also behind us. (32:18-19)
Interestingly, the Torah found it necessary to report in detail all the specific questions that Yaakov anticipated from his brother: “To whom do you belong, where are you going, and whose are these that are before you?” Seemingly, it would have sufficed for the Torah to simply record what Yaakov instructed his servants to tell Esav, without specifying the particular questions Yaakov anticipated.
One explanation, perhaps, relates to Rashi’s comment on verse 19, where he notes that Yaakov instructed his servants to answer Esav’s questions in the sequence they were asked (“al rishon rishon ve-al acharon acharon”). In light of Rashi’s observation, we might say that the Torah specified the anticipated questions to show the precision that Yaakov demanded from his servants in responding to Esav, in an effort to display the highest level of respect. This, in turn, teaches that answering multiple questions in the sequence in which they were asked is an expression of respect and proper etiquette.
Rav Gamliel Rabinowitz, in his work Tiv Ha-Torah (Jerusalem, 5768), suggests another message that perhaps underlies the Torah’s unusual verbosity in these verses. Posing these kinds of questions upon confronting a group of shepherds with herds of animals might reflect an excessive degree of curiosity. By anticipating Esav’s posing all these questions, the Torah perhaps sought to establish an association between excessive curiosity and the negative character of Esav; in other words, the Torah here teaches that overcurious inquisitiveness is a trait associated with Esav, a manifestation of the yetzer ha-ra, and hence something we ought to avoid.
It is human nature to inquire about other people, and to take inordinate interest in what they have and what they are doing. Beyond the danger of invasiveness and denying people the right to privacy, excessive curiosity can also lead to a wasteful consumption of a person’s time and attention. Those who constantly ask the kinds of questions asked by Esav – inquiring about the details of other people’s lives – run the risk of draining their limited resources of time and mental energy. While we most certainly show concern for others and interest in their needs, we mustn’t hunt for useless knowledge about other people. It is far preferable to reserve our curiosity and inquisitiveness for Torah study and other beneficial and productive areas of interest – the kind of behavior commonly associated with Yaakov, rather than Esav.